Elodie’s Compendium of Illustrated Search Terms

Sometimes it worries me what people search for.

Sometimes it worries me more that they actually find this blog.

Here are some search terms from the past month, illustrated with helpful pictures, so that you can share in my fear, distress and delight.

“your awesomeness can’t possibly be described.”

Try anyway.

Try anyway.

“The green knight without color”

surely you could have imagined this for yourself?

.

“dodo master tutorial”

step one: dodo. step two: shading. step three: extinction.

.

“koennen rosa beeren schlecht werden”

this phrase is nowhere on my blog. how did this happen?

.

“I am trapped in bad science”

SCIENCE MONSTER SYMPATHIZE SO MUCH! HUGS TIME.

.

“how much do hamsters cost at the marmot pet store”

if you have to ask, you can’t afford them.

.

“boobs are not spheres”

well done. this is sterling evidence that you have seen – and even touched – an actual boob in real life.

/

“she has bit of belly fat”

this makes her prettiest dinosaur.

.

“how to cut rounded glass cleanly”

is this what you meant?

.

“black and green knights black and green knights black and green knights”

please seek help

i don’t think you understand how google works.

.

“can you spot the marmot”

hint: he’s somewhere on this page

.

“in the book king arthur, why was the black knight dressed in all black?”

seriously who are you

/

“things you don’t know about Charles Darwin”

In case you were wondering: yes, I’m cracking up.

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16 thoughts on “Elodie’s Compendium of Illustrated Search Terms

  1. Elodie, I’ll seriously stop to can if you keep on posting entries like this. I don’t know what to do with all that laughter anymore.

    Do you have a graphic tablet or something or are you just really good with your mouse (even the thought of drawing that pegasus in the first picture is just…ugh)?

    Oh, and “schlecht werden” in this case means “go bad”, as in, you can’t eat the pink berries anymore because they lay on your windowsill in the sun for two weeks and now they’re bad. /you may think of a better scenario if you want to
    So the person is asking if pink berries can go bad, apparently assuming that this depends on their colour and not on, I don’t know, what kind of berry they are. Or that any food can go bad, for that matter.
    I can imagine that maybe some German blog featured your Smash Bad Science about the blue and pink berries with translations and that somehow connected a link between “rosa Beeren” in general and this blog? I don’t know.

    • I’ll stop cracking up soon! I promise! I might have (just a little bit) used up all of my good ideas for the blog. But I’ll get more!

      Sadly, the pictures are drawn with a mouse, on my work computer, in Microsoft Paint. Usually over my lunch break. Because I don’t just like to do stupid things: I like to do them with MAXIMUM INCONVENIENCE. (I had a tablet once. It upset and confused me.)

      RE: the pink berries thing! ohhhh man, I should have asked you first, Myrin! It makes more sense now. Actually, it makes less sense. I am just left with the overwhelming question of “whyyyyyy.”

      I have completely lost the plot

  2. this phrase is nowhere on my blog.

    It’s here now. You may have started a vicious cycle of weird search phrases. (Hopefully they will be just as amusing.)

  3. I love your blog. And now I want to do weird searches just to give bloggers stuff to write about. No matter what I write about, every other day someone finds my blog with this phrase “Groucho Marx glasses”. I’d like to believe that it is just one person with a fetish. Somehow that would make it seem less creepy.

  4. “He met queen Victoria and she thought he was foxy” was for sure what those people typing “things you don’t know about Charles Darwin” were looking for! Hahaha, absolutely brilliant, I actually bursted with laughter in the office. So much love for this!

  5. Pingback: Friday links, 11/2/12 « Tutus And Tiny Hats

  6. Pingback: Elodie’s Compendium of Illustrated Search Terms, Volume II | Elodie Under Glass

  7. Pingback: Guest Post: Illustrated Compendium Of Search Terms [Elodie] | Memetic Drift

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