One of my favorite passages in Charles Darwin’s “The Voyage of the Beagle” is the one where Darwin nearly kills a toad with kindness. Since most people haven’t read VotB, I’ll reproduce it for you here, with useful diagrams.
From “The Voyage of the Beagle,” Chapter Five, Bahia Blanca, August 24, 1833.
Amongst the Batrachian reptiles, I found only one little
toad (Phryniscus nigricans), which was most singular from
its colour.
If we imagine, first, that it had been steeped in
the blackest ink,
and then, when dry,
allowed to crawl over a board,
freshly painted with the brightest vermilion,
so as to colour the soles of its feet
and parts of its stomach
a good idea of its appearance will be gained.
If it had been an unnamed species,
surely it ought to have been called
Diabolicus,
for it is a fit toad to preach in the ear of Eve.
Instead of being nocturnal in its habits, as other toads are,
and living in damp obscure recesses, it crawls during the heat
of the day about the dry sand-hillocks and arid plains, where
not a single drop of water can be found.
It must necessarily depend on the dew for its moisture; and this probably is
absorbed by the skin, for it is known, that these reptiles possess
great powers of cutaneous absorption.
At Maldonado, I found one in a situation nearly as dry as at Bahia Blanca, and
thinking to give it a great treat,
carried it to a pool of water;
not only was the little animal unable to swim, but
I think without help it would soon have been drowned.
=============
Charles Darwin, this is all very cute, but why are you trying to give great treats to toads.
You are not the Toad Party God.
You are Charles Darwin.
Go home, Charles Darwin.
You are drunk.
This made me LOL in the middle of breakfast. Thank you!
(PS I <3 you at CA! That is all.)
It’s breakfast there?! I – I can’t handle this information. It has only *just* become a respectable time for me to start drinking!
xoxoxoxo <3
It was THEN. It’s hardly MY fault you live on the wrong side of the world. <3 <3 <3
Okay, this made me laugh. Like, a lot. You and your drawing skills are amazing. xD
Hahaha! Thank you <3
I really do mean to write a special post for you, but it turns out to involve a lot of research. Next time, ask me an easy one like "Which is the cutest baby farm animal?" or "what is the most delicious sandwich?"
I kid, I kid. I love you too.
I’ll be thinking about a question like this, then, and post it immediately when I found a good one, ‘kay?*
But really, you are the first person whom I trust to actually find the answer to the feels-like-not-often-asked questions I have sometimes. But please don’t beat yourself up over it or something! I’m always a bit embarrassed when someone does things like a special post for me, but at the same time it makes me happy.^^
*I think it will be food-related. I love food!
[Btw, I was browsing through old CA-commentaries a few days ago and realised that we're almost the same age! Well, I'll only be 22 in March and I take it you're 24 by now but still pretty close. And I saw what you look like through your twitter and then I was happy because it's very much like I imagined you to look! /random]
Well, since I commented last time with bad news, I might as well comment here just to say that omg, I laughed so much from this post! Literally, and I really shouldn’t, because I was at work, but I think a little break to read some very awesome writings is ok.
Also your drawings are amazing, and perfectly capture the scientific spirit of this passage.
Poor little toad. What a crappy crappy treat it got.
That’s pretty much how I felt; “well, that last post was deep and dark! Time for something cute and palate-cleansing…”
Taking a break from grant application process to say . . . hi-LAR-ious! Thanks for the left turn into surreality.
Oh, Darwin.
Awesome!
I never thought to have a favorite passage from Darwin.
Should I re-read him and hope for the best?
ghost.
Only if you’re interested in him anyway! Don’t do it just to impress me.
There is no copyright on Darwin’s work, so it’s free to read online. “Voyage of the Beagle” can have some cute moments, especially when he’s tormenting creatures like these lizards:
He also records the extinction of many native peoples, often with more compassion than his contemporaries, who slaughtered these humans like animals; Darwin, who has great empathy for animals, records them with some sympathy. And he almost thinks about racism sometimes:
There are passages that are quite descriptive of the landscapes, lifestyles and people that Darwin encountered, many of which are better than standard travel books:
If you’re interested in natural history, anthropology, Edwardian language, and colonialism, or just a crazy English guy pulling lizards by the tail, then you’ll probably find him educational and lovely. If you’re not, then you won’t.
So read him if you’d like to. Don’t, if you don’t want to. He’s dead; he won’t mind.
<3
Reblogged this on thewordpressghost and commented:
I seldom read anything fun of a scientific nature.
But, this blogger chose to write a light-hearted and funny blog about Darwin and his fascination with a toad.
cute and funny. i hope entertaining.
ghost.
Ah Darwin. For a guy who’s famous for his theories on evolution, he sure can do some stupid things.
That is an excellent summary of why Darwin is famous. For his theories on evolution.
Not for his toad treats.
Thanks for the laugh. Nice drawing skills.
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I haven’t laughed this hard in a while… Thanks!
I really like your blog and would love you to feature on mine, http://www.5thingstodotoday.com. All you have to do is write five suggestions along with a link back to your site. Please check out the blog and see the sort of things people have written about. Please consider following me on facebook. http://www.facebook.com/5thingstodotoday
Rescued from the spam filter for hilarity’s sake:
Oh, I deeply and sincerely doubt that, little spam-fish. No you do not like my blog. You haven’t even read my blog. You haven’t even read this post. You don’t even know how to READ.
Here is exactly what I think of this, through the interpretive medium of Dylan Moran.
Anyone else want to have a go? Come at me, bros.
NO FUCKS TO GIVE HERE. THIS IS MOTHERFUCKING ELODIE UNDER GLASS.
This cheered me up after being depressed by marking science coursework, thanks!
This is the funniest thing I have read in days. Thank you for this.
Tee Hee Hee! Love the drawings. Happy Freshly Pressed
This is hilarious
Just,thank you….
Hahahaha! Yes!
I wander what Charles Darwin would have thought of this?
Probably something like, “O, that there should come a time after my death wherein purveyors of cheap paint-by-numbers consumables should laugh at my open and candid affection for the natural world! Lo, what legacy have I left, that it should come to this; for I only meant to please the little toad, and by his kindly, uncynical and sympathetic nature, one may measure a man.”
TOO funny. LOL. [link redacted by Elodie because come the fuck on, people.]
For those playing along at home, this character then linked to the mobile version of their paint-by-numbers product.
Just what I needed before going to bed. Thanks!
Darwin sounds mental, what a crackpot! The smart ones normally are though. Never heard of the Voyage if the Beagle before, thank you for introducing. Excellent post
Lol awesome pictures.
that was freaking awesome!! What a pity toad I thought. And what do you think about Charles Darwins’s theory stated that the ancestor of human is ape?
Sweet pea, Charles Darwin never stated that the ancestor of humans were apes. In his 1871 work “The Descent of Man,” Charles Darwin suggested that humans and apes share a common ancestor.
Humans and apes are related; we are cousins. Humans and other life forms are related; we are more distant cousins, but still family. We are part of the kindred of life on earth.
But you did not descend from your cousins. Your cousins are not your ancestors. You share your ancestors with them – perhaps you might share a grandmother with your close cousins, or a great-grandmother with more distant cousins – but you did not descend from them.
This is something to be grateful and happy for, that you are connected to all other forms of life on earth, that you and I are close relations, and that we share genetic material with everything else that lives and breathes and loves and exists. It’s something to celebrate. That’s what I think about it.
(Dear Readers: If your cousin actually is your grandmother, then I did not mean to cause offense. Also, please consider moving to a different place.)
Kitties have souls and are our friends: chimpanzees are horrible monsters’
, soulless p-zombies, meat machines. This is the fundamental nihilism at the heart of Darwinism.
At least that’swhat some guy said, you know? People say a lot of things. The poliss is all communiss around here.
“Congratulations on getting Freshly Pressed,” they said.
“It’s a lovely thing to happen to you,” they said. “Think of all the lovely traffic.”
“Why are you smiling like that,” they said.
Good golly, that made me laugh. I really ought to read that book, y’know. thanks for introducing me to it.
This is hilarious! Poor toadie! I guess that path to Hell IS paved with good intentions, hmm?
Love it.
Ha! Very cute pictures.
Reblogged this on chaotiqual.
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I am equal parts disturbed and amused.
That’s pretty much the only reaction I go for <3
Love this post, so very funny , just what I need to start the day in lab
I love the hip flask.
Funny, funny post!! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
Aww this was great! Love the illustrations.
great use of comedy and education
This is so spicy and has so much flare. You really have the depth of comedy and hilarious pictures. I encourage you to make more. I am an ultimate FAN!!!!!! it would be sick if you could follow our new blog swagginlunch. [link redacted because fuckoff] ily <3
I
WHAT
GO AWAY
this is very interesting theory and i really enjoy the creativity of the pictures that you drew. they are simple and easy
are you people just kidding me at this point
if you want to check out my blog go to [redacted link to uniquely mediocre blog] its a blog about food sports and movies.
you’re shITTING ME IS IT REALLY
I didn’t know Darwin had some comical (probably not intended to be so) works out there. Thanks for the laugh, and introducing me to this side of ‘Charlie’. Also, congrats on FP!
this was (and still is) awesome.
thanks a lot!
Reblogged this on TeSIGN and commented:
love it …….
At this point I feel out of place NOT being a spambot.
I’m not sure which was better. The post itself, the cartoons, or the video clips. All three made my day.
I loved this! And I would love to see you do the whole book, or other segments from. It’s a lot of literature to pour through though. Either way, this made my day =)
It is not without the greatest of intent, that I Sir, do declare, with humblest of sincerity, and could not argue if one was to say that by and large, without a shadow of a doubt, that you Sir, could be deemed by the the terminology, and perhaps coined by the phrase, yes, you are a funny bastard.
See this? This is an example of the kind of comment where I will go, “What ho, Interesting Person! You seem like one of my species; even if you have not actually read the post, Sir, I like the cut of your jib. Let us wear top hats together, Sir, and I will click on your little links of my own free will.”
This blog appears to be a PR firm, and I like them anyway. This is a link that I clicked on. This is a blog that I looked at.
PR is interesting to me. I strongly value charisma, a rare and charming quality, and PR is essentially a way of wrapping up the poor unfortunates who lack charisma in a nice blanket of charm. When done well, it’s something of value: a bit of sparkle and polish on an otherwise dull world. Lack of charisma is a sad affliction, and I appreciate that PR exists to hide it from me.
Because while I try to be a compassionate person, and see the Darwin in everyone, I find mediocrity draining; I find dullness repulsive, and if somebody drags me over to their blog to show me some dregs of their tedious dribblings, it makes me violent. I have shit to do with my life. I’m a scientist, babes, I’ve got work to do; don’t act like I can’t entertain myself on my lunch break. I loathe the genuine-but-banal spammer who desperately tries to drag me over to their blog. I like the PR firm that butters me up with the language of a Victorian naturalist.
Four for you, Sir. You go, Sir.
Love it!
Charming. reminds me of the time i tried to wash my cat and almost killed him. unlike Darwin, I did nothing important since.
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Yes exactly. It doesn’t often happen that I don’t know what to do of something but this one definitely counts.
I had nothing else to give, so I give you my face.
And what a pretty face it is! <3
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This is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in quite some time. I love nerd humor!
I have to thank this person, http://kirstyevidence.wordpress.com/, for pointing me in this direction in a comment today. Thanks to both of you for making me laugh!
Most welcome ‘when I blink’ and elodie – you guys are my blogging inspiration. I haven’t got to the stage where I have introduced random penguins or unicorns into my blog yet but I will get there!
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